All About Sex’s Marissa Jaret Winokur Helps B’way Ladies Spice It Up in the Bedroom

first_img EPONINE (LES MISERABLES) “She did OK back in 19th-century France, but Eponine would not do well nowadays. Back then, Marius was all she had to lean on and they were best friends, but now she’d be a full-on Facebook stalker. She’d be drunk texting, she’d delete him from Facebook and then add him back on again… So my advice to Eponine would be back off. Take advice from that book He’s Just Not That Into You. Delete him from your phone. Don’t look at what he’s doing with Cosette on Facebook, it’s just gonna break your heart. Eponine is very co-dependent, and I think she’ll need a little therapy to get through this, but she has to love herself first!” GOLDE (FIDDLER ON THE ROOF) “I relate to Golde because she’s happily married to a great man—we all love Tevye—but I don’t think they’re having sex anymore. I’m looking for the same advice Golde is looking for. We have to be more like we were when were younger. We have to get our groove back. She needs to take off her shmata—or in my case, Lululemon leggings and sweatsuits—and put on some sexy lingerie and make our husbands wake up a little. And she needs a date night. Maybe get some wine and relax at the Anatevka Saloon, put on a low-cut shmata, take off her army boots, put on a pair of sandals and show an ankle.” DONNA SHERIDAN (MAMMA MIA!) “First, Donna has to be honest and help Sophie find out who her father is. Drink a glass of wine, get all three men over and just figure it out. And then at that point if she’s like, ‘Hmm, I wonder if I have feelings for one of them again,’ let’s not have the same mistake happen this time. Now we know about diseases, so maybe don’t have sex with all three guys in the same day? Even though she may not be able to get pregnant anymore, she still needs to use protection. But hey, why rehash the old ones anyway? You’re in the Greek Islands, find someone new and exciting!” MISS TRUNCHBULL (MATILDA) “The first thing I would do is give Miss Trunchbull a full makeover. Spanx, a push-up bra and a nice stretchy dress from Chico’s. I also feel like Miss Trunchbull clearly needs to get in touch with her own sexuality. Maybe she needs to find a nice lesbian bar and figure it out? But let me tell you, if she’s looking for a man and not a woman, saying ‘I work with 100 children’ is not going to bring in the men. When she’s filling out her Tinder profile, maybe she shouldn’t mention all of the children she’s around. And I’m typically not into plastic surgery but maybe wart removal would be helpful?” Tony-winning Hairspray favorite Marissa Jaret Winokur is definitely a big girl now—she’s helping women spice it up between the sheets as the co-host of the new TLC late-night series All About Sex! Before she doles out relationship advice on national TV, Winokur is tackling five Broadway characters with intimacy issues who could really use her help. Check out her tips for Miss Trunchbull from Matilda, Golde from Fiddler on the Roof and more below, then see her talk All About Sex beginning January 10 on TLC! TRACY TURNBLAD (HAIRSPRAY) “Tracy needs the least advice of anyone on Broadway ever. She’s more sexually confident than Roxie from Chicago! She’s an inspiration. But I’d still like to tell her to slow down. You know what happened after that dance contest—she won and then she and Link left and got it on. I absolutely know for a fact that Tracy and Link did the deed that night, and I’m sorry to ruin it for everybody, but that’s what happened. Penny wasn’t really ready yet mentally and Amber was a virgin, but Tracy was ready to have sex, for sure. She was ready, but she still needs to go slow, use protection and have fun!” View Commentslast_img

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